You’ve heard about feminine energy, but how do you bring out his masculine energy? Learn the dos and don’ts of enhancing his masculine energy to achieve a healthy dynamic.
So, you’ve heard me talk about feminine energy – what it is, how to step into yours and how to become the best version of you. The key in a healthy, well-balanced masculine to feminine relationship then, is to establish your feminine energy firmly. This allows him the space to step into his masculine.
How do we do this?
What if the roles have been reversed in a long-term relationship or marriage, and you want him to do more? Take more initiative and be the man of your dreams?
If you have realized you crave a new dynamic, this blog is for you. The first thing you should know though: You can’t force it. You can’t force a square into a star by pulling at the edges. What you can do, though, is release the control you’ve held onto for so long, and focus on you and your journey, baby!
That said, I’m going to break down the 10 dos and don’ts of inspiring his masculine and helping him shift. Try these and watch what happens – these tips could significantly improve your relationship dynamic. Let’s get into it.
Do: Let go of control.
This is the first and most difficult for us women to grasp sometimes. But the truth is, by constantly trying to control him (you know what I’m talking about…All the ‘Have you done this?’ and ‘Have you taken out the trash?’ and ‘Did you remember to get the prescription?’)…by doing that, you are making him feel incompetent.
Now, when you give up control, it’s important to realize you need to give it at least a month. You need to give him space to think ‘Who am I without her telling me what to do all the time and planning everything?’ – and see what happens.
One of two things is going to happen: he will either step up or nothing will change. If nothing changes, maybe you need to step back and navigate what you want. But give it time, and give him a chance.
Don’t: Nag him.
Nagging and berating him doesn’t make either one of you feel good. You want to become the person that he is inspired to move mountains for, right? You shouldn’t have to tell him, right? Unfortunately though, when you’re constantly the ugly rat in the corner, whining and picking on him…it’s not the best version of yourself, love.
Instead of putting that spotlight of attention on him, I empower you to put that energy into yourself. Mind your business, tend to your own needs, and put yourself first. This mindset alone can reignite your relationship, trust me.
Do: Be light and playful.
If you love this person and you want to be with them, try not taking everything so personally. Try to not overthink it. Attempt to approach life in general with more playfulness, because that is someone he wants to be around and whom he wants to do things for. This kind of lightness is probably one of the things that initially attracted him to you.
And if you’re thinking, ‘Oh Margarita, I don’t want to have to hide my true feelings!’ I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to sit back, take a breath, realize that maybe him forgetting to take the trash out is not a personal attack on you, and attempt to let go of control and choose the happy path.
Because maybe it’s not that deep, yeah?
Don’t: Think your way is always the best.
Let him lead. When you sit back and let go of control, you’re giving him a chance to be the man of the house, which means you’re giving him more freedom and power to make decisions. So, when he does, my girl, consider this – your way is not always the only way.
If your way is always the best, maybe you should just marry yourself? There is a reason we get with a significant other – there’s something he has to teach you. It’s impossible for you to know everything, and you can’t be the CEO of every department of your lives. Sit back and try things his way for a second.
Do: Tell him what he’s doing right.
Voice your admiration; it might sound cheesy at first, but tell him specific things you love about his actions.
For example, if you want him to call more, say ‘I love when you call me to catch up, it feels really nice to hear your voice.’
And if he goes to the store, don’t just say ‘Thank you for going to the store.’
Say: ‘Thank you so much for going to the store, I noticed you got oranges because you know I love oranges, that makes me feel so special that you remembered that.’
People need to feel seen and heard for the things they are doing right, so let him know it means something to you.
Don’t: Take care of everything.
Stop with the planning, stop with the organizing every detail of your lives – it’s putting you in your masculine energy.
You must be exhausted and resentful, which is part of the reason why you’re turning into the angry, nagging rat in the corner that we discussed earlier. Let him take care of things and stop trying to make everything perfect.
Do: Focus on yourself.
Try this: Put the spotlight back on YOU. Because when you’re focused on him, the spotlight is shining on him, and he can feel it. How can he admire you and think you’re a goddess when you’re shining the spotlight on him? You need to get back to the basics of you, my love.
What’s a hobby or passion you’ve been wanting to try? What if you try something different with your hair? What’s a good self-development book you’d like to read?
Think of how you can make your life more exciting, and naturally you will worry less about whether he’s picking up his prescriptions and eaten a good lunch. You see what I’m saying?
Don’t: Be “Miss Independent”.
Relying on another human doesn’t make you powerless, despite what modern culture tells us. Between you and me, I can admit that yes, technically I could ‘do it all’ without my husband.
But what kind of dynamic would that set us up for? Why would I want to tell him that and act like he is not needed? And why would I even want to do everything alone?
As human beings, we’re biologically wired to need community – this is not a bad thing but rather a beautiful thing. I for one, prefer to do things in a community, as a family and have shared goals. While it may make you feel powerful to do it all on your own, it can also make you feel tired!
I encourage you then, to release this mindset and allow him the space to show up for you.
Do: Believe in him.
Let’s say your partner is a good person with good intentions, as I assume he is since you chose him.
You need to start speaking life into that part of him, and sees beauty and potential in him. That’s why the saying goes “behind every man is a great woman” – because the most inspiring gaze for a man is the feminine gaze. We are almost like a mirror back to him about who he is.
Human beings need validation and purpose. Wouldn’t you be more inspired to show up for a person that saw the goodness in you and told you ‘There’s no doubt in my mind that I can count on you and you’ll show up for me’ rather than someone who says ‘I don’t know if you’d show up for me’?
Inspire him, speak life into him and truly believe in him. Because at the end of the day, we’re all humans who possess both good and bad qualities. I encourage you to see the good, and give him a chance to fulfill that prophecy.
10.Don’t: Think he can read your mind.
I’m just going to tell you straight: one of our superpowers as women is emotional intelligence, and men are often not as emotionally intelligent as us.
I have found it beneficial to give a literal roadmap to your desires when you want something. For example, there’s a video I’ve been sent on TikTok – it’s a guy arriving at a girl’s house and she’s standing at the door with flowers and chocolate. She gives them to him and says ‘Come in again.’ Then she closes the door. He knocks again, he comes in, and she acts all happy and surprised. He is confused.
Do you see what I’m saying? There’s a way to teach people how you want to be treated. I talk a lot about this in my book. If he is not getting you gifts, you need to ask yourself why…is he not a gift giver but maybe shows up for you in other ways? Or maybe he once got you gifts and stopped? Maybe he doesn’t feel as appreciated as he once did. It’s worth exploring and having a conversation about it – but you can’t expect him to read your mind.
How to sustain attraction and lasting love
Chances are, if you’re reading this you are either in a committed relationship already, or you are trying to attract the relationship of your dreams. You’re ready to take charge of your life in this area, break free from the shackles of feeling unseen or powerless, and embark on a path of love, growth and empowerment. How do you go about this?
I have answers for you – an entire masterclass of them. In it, you will learn:
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Why ‘doing’ more does not get you the love you want.
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How focusing on you will get him to focus on you too!
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How femininity is the key to unlocking the treatment you want.
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And much more!
Are you ready to step into your femininity and take control of your love life? I’ll see you at The Polarity Masterclass.
Until then, happy reading – please comment below if you found this blog helpful. xx
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